The Brady Bunch of Autism
Join Navah and Matt Asner as they discuss topics relating to the world of autism and family. Navah and Matt have six children. 3 who are autistic. They are the founders of the Ed Asner Family Center. A center that provides arts and vocational enrichments and counseling services and support groups to special needs individuals and their families.
The Brady Bunch of Autism
Balancing Dreams and Reality: How We Learned to Listen to Our Autistic Son
Parenting autistic children comes with unexpected twists and turns, especially when appearances don't match reality. In this deeply personal episode, we share the story of our son Wolfie, whose journey through the prestigious Berklee School of Music ended in crisis but ultimately led to profound growth and understanding.
Wolfie always seemed to be our "easy" child with autism. Academically successful and apparently needing minimal support, we celebrated when he was accepted to his dream school. Despite setting up therapy and support systems, what we couldn't anticipate was the emotional toll that sudden independence would take. Behind our regular check-ins, Wolfie was struggling silently - doctoring grades, withdrawing from classes, and maintaining a façade that grew increasingly unsustainable.
When the truth finally emerged, our initial shock and anger quickly gave way to heartbreak over the profound isolation our son had experienced. This powerful lesson reshaped our understanding of autism parenting: sometimes the children who appear to need the least support actually require the most. We realized no prestigious degree is worth sacrificing mental health, and our dreams for our children must sometimes step aside so they can create their own paths.
We also discuss exciting developments at the Ed Asner Family Center, including our groundbreaking partnership with Funko that's creating meaningful employment opportunities for autistic adults. Three program participants have already become regular employees, demonstrating what's possible when companies commit to authentic inclusion.
Whether you're parenting autistic children or simply interested in better understanding autism, this episode offers honest insights into balancing expectations with reality, recognizing hidden struggles, and creating environments where neurodivergent individuals can truly thrive. Visit teafc.org to connect with our community and explore our programs designed by and for neurodivergent people.
www.teafc.org From Our Family To Yours
Welcome to the Brady Bunch of Autism, your source for family parenting and all things. Autism and special needs created by our family for your family live from the Ed Asner Family Center and now your hosts, Nava and Matt Asner.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Brady Bunch of Autism. I'm Matt Asner.
Speaker 1:Welcome everyone. I I'm Matt Asner. Welcome everyone, I'm Nava Asner. We're very happy that you came to our second show and we're just so happy to be here again.
Speaker 2:Yes, all right let's talk about Kanye West. So Kanye West announces he's been diagnosed with autism. Kanye West has been doing the most insane stuff in public for the past couple of years and I think when the shit is really hitting the fan excuse my language, this is an adult show he's saying, oh, I've been diagnosed with autism, like that is some sort of golden ticket out of whatever mess he's creating for himself, and I think it's insulting to anyone who's involved in the autism community, certainly autistics themselves and parents. I think it's terrible. I agree.
Speaker 2:Basically, this guy's just an asshole.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And he's um blaming it on his autism. And you know, I, frankly, you know, think that's enough, we don't need to talk about it anymore. Night of too many stars coming up in March Um, it's another star set at night. Next for autism March 31st Next for autism.
Speaker 2:Our good friends Who've actually given us a grant, a couple grants before, and it's at the Beacon Theater in New York City on March 31st and they're going to have some incredible people again Chris Rock, adam Sandler, amy Schumer, and you know just a who's, virtual who's who. Let's see who else Ronnie Chang, alex Adelman, susie Essman from isn't she the one from? Curb your Enthusiasm? I think she is. Jim Gaffigan, sarah Sherman, max Weinberg's Jukebox, james Austin Johnson and Sam Morrill. It's going to have, they're going to have a live auction and it's going to be incredible.
Speaker 1:And Next for Autism really, really helps people in the community. They help in a way that is really life-changing. They helped us actually underwrite and create the dating spectrum which is our very, very important relationship program and their new kind of pathway is really centering on autistically-led programs and we've had a few programs that they were really excited about and we love them and we're so grateful for all their support and if you can get one of those golden tickets, you should go.
Speaker 2:Yes, I mean tickets are available to the public.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, I didn't know that. And then go to.
Speaker 2:Next for Autism website and try and get a ticket. Just pay for it. It's reasonably priced and probably one of the best comedy shows you'll ever see At the Beacon Theater. March 31st Night of Too Many Stars.
Speaker 1:Moving on.
Speaker 2:Okay, arkansas, arkansas, and you're going to like this.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Arkansas has a new blue envelope law. Do you know what a blue envelope law?
Speaker 1:is Nava I don't?
Speaker 2:A blue envelope law aims to ease police encounters with people with autism.
Speaker 1:But why blue?
Speaker 2:Well, blue autism.
Speaker 1:You're asking for it, so I'm going to give it to you.
Speaker 2:No, I mean that's them. I'm not doing it.
Speaker 1:But why blue? What about the girls with autism?
Speaker 2:Well, they can join in the autistic girls are not you asked for it. I'm going to bring it. Look, I'm going to bring it. Look, it's a blue envelope. It's a blue envelope program. These things exist and don't kill the messenger. Okay, all right.
Speaker 1:Now I feel about blue.
Speaker 2:But this is a good thing.
Speaker 1:Let's not kind of you know, let's not get on a good thing like this. Any kind of awareness is a good thing.
Speaker 2:So this is. It's in Arkansas and it's the first state in the south to implement a blue envelope program.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And so it's intended to make traffic stops so when someone's pulled over and they're driving easier for drivers that are autistic.
Speaker 1:Or have an autistic passenger.
Speaker 2:let's say so this is how it works with autism will be able to request a blue envelope at the DMV where they can keep documents like registration, insurance and a driver's license to hand a police officer if they're pulled over. So you know, I know when I'm pulled over. The many times that I'm pulled over now I know when I'm pulled over I get excited and scared. I don't know why, but I just feel kind of scared when I'm pulled over and guilty.
Speaker 1:I'm sure you've done something wrong. Probably have.
Speaker 2:And you know it's. This is meant so that people who are overwhelmed getting their documents together and they have a fight or flight response, that they have everything kind of in one place, they can just say, here, I have it right here, here you go, Take it please, and they're able to kind of work it right.
Speaker 1:Well, it just alleviates that kind of like panic mode. I mean, I definitely get panic when I'm pulled over.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then you're ruggling through all your paperwork.
Speaker 2:Maybe you don't know where your registration is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no. I think everyone should have that typical or neurotypical.
Speaker 2:Well, if you're autistic, you can get a blue envelope now in Arkansas. So there you go, let's change the color though. You can change the color. Okay, you know, in California we don't even have that in California. I don't think so why don't you start it and we'll do like a. You know we can do like a red envelope.
Speaker 1:Golden Golden includes everyone. A gold envelope. Okay, okay, yes. So so that's on your to-do list now, right? Oh, there's Gizmo. Hey, gizmo, you want to explain to our listeners who Gizmo is? Gizmo's our center dog. Yes, he's our mascot. He's a little.
Speaker 2:Pekingese. You can probably hear him. He just sneezed, he just gave a little sneeze and he came in and is saying hello to us.
Speaker 1:I honestly think you love Gizmo more than you love me.
Speaker 2:No, I don't.
Speaker 1:I think so I don't, and you didn't want me to get Gizmo for you.
Speaker 2:It was your birthday present. Gizmo depends on me more than you do.
Speaker 1:Let's give our listeners another update about the center because the center has really changed a lot. In our last run of Brady Bunch of Autism, we were primarily an enrichment center and we had classes, wonderful classes, but we really just had enrichments and one of our beloved board members who had a daughter, who has a daughter, who had reached that cliff and kind of fallen off the cliff of 22, there really wasn't any setting that was appropriate for her. There was community day services but there was nothing that included kind of the social interaction, the peer group. We wanted to create something, she and I, that was almost like a small college feel. It's a very small setting. It's a full-day program for primarily lower support need individuals, but we do have some individuals who have support. But it's such a unique program and I'm so, so happy with how it's going. It's really flourished in the last two years. But what makes it so special is our sponsorship with Funko.
Speaker 2:And do you want to talk a little bit about our corporate yeah, well, we wanted to create a situation where our participants were getting inside a workplace and being trained as employees, getting indoctrinated into corporate culture, like it or not, and we were looking for a company to partner with to do that. And Funko stepped up and they said that sounds like something we'd be really interested in doing. We actually had had a partnership, a fundraising partnership, with them that we were. They released a pop last year. That was a pop for purpose and it was of Carl Friedrickson from Up, who my dad did the voice of, and they. So we were already kind of partnering with them on that and this was a natural segue for us to kind of get a little more into it together. And they've been incredible and I'll say this it has become an incredible program, not just for our participants but for them as well for Funko as well, absolutely.
Speaker 2:It's changed their organization. They're actually doing a similar program up in Washington with people up in Washington, with employees up in Washington, and it's incredible We've been working with them now for a year and neurodivergent individuals because they helped.
Speaker 1:They asked us help us write the recipe for this work program, help us create what we've never created before and I think once you give autistic, once you include autistic voices in the creation of programs and that's really is my kind of my motivation for the center in general is having all of our programs be autistically created, autistically led. We have probably 30% of our maybe actually higher now of our academy teachers are neurodivergent. I just think there's an authentic and wonderful feeling when you have autistic people creating these programs for other autistic people, and I think that Funko has uniquely done that and allowed us to help them create the need for accommodations, the need for just the kind of sensitivity that most organizations don't really either care about or are willing to include in hiring. And so many parents tell me, oh, my kid got this job, but it's after they're hired. That is the issue and the continuation of daily support needs that makes successful partnerships, and Funko really has done that.
Speaker 2:And I'll say this, and Funko really has done that, and I'll say this it's been a success on so many levels, but you know we've seen our participants grow immensely as people, as humans, and the greatest thing of all is that three of our participants have become employees, regular employees of Funko.
Speaker 2:They are there several times a week as employees on their own, and that is something that we hoped would happen, but I don't know if we ever thought it would, but I mean we hoped it would happen. We were very clear when we went in with Funko that we mentioned to them, we said it would be great if we could actually have some of our participants hired by you guys. And it worked out, it's happening. And so just a message out there if you're listening and you have ideas for maybe some companies, corporations that we can talk to about this doing similar programs, we're excited about talking about this with other corporations. So if you have ideas, let us know. You can email me at matt at teafcorg or nava at teafcorg.
Speaker 1:And A-V-A-H.
Speaker 2:N-A-V-A-H.
Speaker 1:Everyone spells my name wrong N-A-V-A. Really, do you my name wrong? N-a-v-a. Really Do you want to know why you add the H to Nava.
Speaker 2:I actually know this.
Speaker 1:Do you, I do.
Speaker 2:Okay For God. Yeah, h is in.
Speaker 1:Hebrew it means Hashem and you add H. And Aviva, our eldest. Her name also has the H. It's very important.
Speaker 2:So that rounds up the center stuff a little bit. So I'd like to talk a little bit about something that happened a little over six months, seven, eight months ago. I was sitting at the office at the center and you called me and said you need to come home right away. Do you remember that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember, it's not often that that happens.
Speaker 2:I don't think I can actually remember another time that that did happen, I think. I used the word emergency. Yeah, I knew something was going on, so I hightailed it home. And what was that about?
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, like I've said and like we've talked about, we have a lot of autistic kids and each one of them is so different. Each one of them has such different needs. And and our middle guy, wolfie, who we always saw as kind of like the easy guy, he always got great grades. He never really needed the kind of support that our other two, willie and Eddie, needed.
Speaker 2:He was quiet about his autism.
Speaker 1:He was very well. He's very I mean one of his biggest kind of struggles is his introverted and being in his head all the time and kind of solitary. But we celebrated because he got into his first choice college, Berklee School of Music. Choice College Berklee School of Music. I took out a very, very big loan in order for him to go there. We were just on top of the world. I didn't just throw him to the wolves, I felt really strongly.
Speaker 2:No, you were. We set him up with all these wonderful programs and Easter Seals.
Speaker 1:Well, I want our listeners to understand that just because a kid has low support needs on paper doesn't mean that they don't have the highest support needs. And I felt and I feel like I had really set him up for success. But what we didn't take into account is the emotional toll of having a autistic young man, who was very sensitive, who had always lived with us, always been really cared for by us, suddenly going with that level of independence, so just suddenly. And he had a wonderful first year, but his second year was just from the beginning to end, a disaster and he kept it to himself.
Speaker 2:We didn't know that.
Speaker 1:No, we didn't, and he kept it to himself.
Speaker 2:We didn't know that? No, we didn't.
Speaker 1:And he kept it to himself. So he basically, you know, it was like remember during COVID, when there were so many kids and I'm sure a lot of you out there who are listening had kids who did that where they would figure out a way to change their screen to look like they were still listening and they were playing video games on the other thing. So basically, wolf's very clever and he figured out how to doctor his grades and was basically telling us on a daily basis because I talked to him three to five times a day that everything was fine and he was going to his therapies and he was going.
Speaker 1:He had a college navigator support person none of them knew anything either no, um, and so basically he was failing and he was too afraid to tell us um. It got to such a point that that day that I called Matt and said we have an emergency, wolfie was at a point where he just, you know, I remember him being hysterical and saying he withdrew from classes, I mean he was not just failing, he withdrew from classes, so he was living this kind of lie.
Speaker 2:He was living a lie that he had to kind of back up every day with us and everyone he was seeing.
Speaker 1:I think that was part of his buildup. And that buildup I remember him telling me later that he called his big brother, max, and he's like I don't know what to do. And Max said to him you go, you hang up the phone with me and you go talk to mom, because this can't go on. You know she's she's supporting something that's that's not sustainable. When you're living this lie and you know, I felt after many, many, many months later, because it was a, it was a blow to me personally. That was just I can't describe. I really feel later that Wolfie a lot of him being there and a lot of him continuing was more for me than for him. He's the most incredibly talented musician and he um continues to be more creative now that he's has that kind of pressure off him here at home than he ever was at berkeley school of music I.
Speaker 2:I was like when I got home and I heard this yeah my first. My first inclination was to get angry.
Speaker 1:You son of a bitch. I don't think I really got that angry. That was my Ed impression. That was pretty good.
Speaker 2:I was in disbelief.
Speaker 1:I was very angry, a little shocked.
Speaker 2:But then I thought to myself, though I think, when I kind of processed it a little bit he, that must have been a very alone thing.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2:I mean he must have felt so incredibly alone during that whole year.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And how horrible that must have been for him. So I kind of felt, you know, I kind of felt that he'd been through enough, I didn't need to give him any more hellfire by the time you arrived home.
Speaker 1:I had realized that this was an emergency situation and nothing, no college, no program is worth somebody's mental health.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:I kind of started that, but I think that, if I really get into therapy mode, I wanted to go to Berklee School of Music. That was my dream. That wasn't Wolfie's dream Well, and it was probably a little too much for him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was too much for him. And I think that there are so many times and there are so many parents who they feel that their autistic kid with the lowest support needs are kind of. You know. I don't have to worry about this kid. I think that that rings true, more so when you have more than one autistic kid.
Speaker 2:We all want our kids to succeed and to you know, to excel and to do the things that we hope for them. We want them to and and.
Speaker 1:But I think, as parents, we have to really. We have to really balance what is realistic and what is like our unrealistic expectations. Well, that's true.
Speaker 2:I know you wanted that's true Kids that were professional baseball players.
Speaker 1:Well, that's true. I know you wanted. That's true of any kids that were professional baseball players, and I think that I wanted all my kids to be either doctors or rabbis.
Speaker 1:I'm sure that that was my first choice. But I think, you know, I realize very, very clearly now after Wolf has completely turned his life around. He joined a community college where he's excelling at. He's so creative, he works part time in the academy program. He's just a totally different person. He has such a lightness of spirit that he didn't have before and he's really, really, I think, on the right track. And no status, college, no dream even, is worth giving up your mental health. And I just want to tell everyone that you know, I really, really feel that those kids that you think don't need a lot of support needs because they're, you know, low support need individuals. Sometimes they have the highest support needs and we really learned that the hard way. But we're on the other side of it and I'm just so proud of the man that he has become and I'm proud of him too.
Speaker 2:I think he's done a great job at getting back on track and dealing with a very stressful, horrible situation.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And now you and I need to go to therapy Exactly, but you know that's something and he's back on track. He's in school again and I think he's thriving in school. Absolutely, absolutely, and I think he's creating his own world, which is, I think, something that everyone should do create their own world and not the world that we create for them. Right, Namba, Absolutely Okay.
Speaker 1:Well, we've really enjoyed having you listen to us and we're going to be back every other week with all kinds of things autism, special needs, family in the community and current events and we just want to say thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 2:If you want to check out the center, if you want to get on our mailing list, look at our YouTube channel, get our social media handles. You can go to teafcorg and everything is there, All that stuff, and I'm getting texts. I don't know why I'm getting texts, but Nava, it's been nice and we will.
Speaker 1:It's been nice knowing you, Matt.
